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Don't Call It a Comeback

Ok, so I know what you're thinking and… I mean…I'm thinking it too, so let's just talk about it. I haven't blogged in awhile. 78 days, to be exact. In people days that's a lot. In blog days? Apparently it's a freaking ETERNITY.


See, I always thought the beauty of being a blogger was that your work could kind of ebb and flow, running parallel with the frequency of your content and inspiration. For example, in times of intense social strife, the 15 year-old proprietor of http://www.blogspot.com/i<3brendan.omg/lol (13 visitors and counting!) will channel her emotions through her keyboard multiple times a day. However, once Brendan heads to lacrosse camp and things quiet down on the home front, the blog posting will surely slow. At the end of the summer though, you better believe the pubescent webmaster will be pounding away at http://www.blogspot.com/i<3brendan.omg/lol again…unless of course that jerk didn't call her, in which case she'll still be blogging but this time for www.wordpress.com/brendan$ucksballs/wets.his.bed.


I've come to find out that in the world of sports blogging, the same principles simply don't apply. As digital-age consumers of sports news, analysis, and debate, we don't just want new stuff; we crave it. From player Twitter updates to rumor mills to viral Youtube clips, the Internet is jam-packed with the latest information pertaining to every facet of the sporting world, and if you take even one day off, you're behind. The same is true for bloggers. We try to fashion our sites into these personal havens where the world ceases its axial rotation until we publish and where people should hang on the precipice of our every last word, but it doesn't work that way. The blogosphere is home to a fickle bunch, and as quickly as you get a thousand readers, you can lose them all. People want information or they want to be entertained, and unless you're Bill Simmons, they are rarely willing to wait.


So, yeah. I'd love to say I have a great excuse for not blogging for 78 days. I'd love to claim that on October 21st Redsmix slapped me with sanctions, that they put me on a 78-day probation for working too hard and caring too much. However, that would be a lie, and that's not what we do here at www.redsmix.com. We don't deal in falsehoods. We're in the business of making the truth known, and the truth is I don't have a good excuse.


However, the silver lining here is that a 78-day sports writing layoff leaves us with a plethora of topics to catch up on. So, in this winter wasteland of Reds news, this post-playoff vacuum of baseball fodder, allow me to hearken back to a few of the defining moments of the last 78 days from Redsland, the sports-scape as it were, and beyond.


Day 1 (of no Redsmix activity):Phils Draw Within One Game of Elimination – The healing process for Reds fans takes a remarkably positive turn.


Day 2: Howard Propels Phils into Offseason – With his team down 3-2 in the bottom of the ninth, Ryan Howard looks casually at a called strike 3. Raucous Philadelphia pub goes silent. Mental smirks and ninja fist pumps all around.


Day 4: Bengals Suffer 3rd straight loss – Prior to losing to Roddy White, the Bengals tanked versus the Browns and Bucs. Cincinnati fans hold a skull session to plan their next billboard.


Day 12: McDonalds Re-Releases McRib – America gets fatter, China chuckles. What else is new.


Day 13: Aaron Harang's Tearful Goodbye – Proud owner of a 5.32 ERA last season, the Red's ace's tears last only as long as it takes him to realize he will sign with San Diego, a land where the women are ten times hotter and the weather is 20 times better. Oh yeah, and it's a pitchers paradise. Oh yeah, and its his hometown. Rough life.

Day 24: Bengals Suffer 6th Straight Loss – This time to the Colts. Starting to regret that AFC Championship bet I placed in Vegas.


Day 27: Tony and Eva Split – Rosetta Stone reports a record spike in French learning materials amongst men in the 23-49 age bracket, because APPARENTLY SHE LIKES THAT.


Day 32: Joey Votto Gets His Due – To the surprise of the entire Pujols family, Joey Votto is named National League MVP, receiving 31 of 32 first place votes. WHAT NOW, CHARLIE MANUEL? WHAT NOW???!!!


Day 52: Bengals Suffer 10th Straight Loss – At this point I think "suffers" is kind of an overstatement. We suck. We know we suck. We've always sucked. Neat.


Day 63: NCAA Suspends 5 Buckeyes for Being Dumb – If anyone doubted Terrelle Pryor's loyalty to tOSU after selling every piece of meaningful memorabilia he owned, I urge them to look no further than all of his awesome Buckeye tattoos. Wait…speaking of tattoos…NEVERMIND! NO ONE LOOK AT THOSE TATTOOS! FORGET I SAID ANYTHING ABOUT TATTOOS!!!


Day 67: MERRY CHRISTMAS! THE BENGALS WIN! – On the strength of Jerome Simpson's career day (not a tough feat), the Bengals make good on their promise to not go 3-13. Meanwhile, in a microcosm of Cincy's season, after scoring his first-ever TD Simpson attempts to dunk the football over the crossbar, misses, and has to settle for a fade-away jumper. Ever since, regardless of the score and regardless of the fact the Bengals are trash, Simpson has reacted to touchdowns as if he got an A+++ in theme writing.


Day 73: Seahawks Make Playoffs, Remain Losers – At 7-9, the Seahawks have an X-Factor that no one else has. And yes, his name is Charlie Whitehurst.


Day 74: Lindsey Lohan Released From Rehab, Tweets a Ghandi Quote – Nothing like wisdom from the Mahatma to make you realize you're an idiot.


Day 75: Despite Tressel's Best Efforts, Buckeyes Beat Arkansas – I'm not positive on this, but I am pretty sure Ohio State had more punt attempts in the second half than pass attempts. Notice I said punt attempts. FML.


Day 78: Redsmix.com lifts two and a half month ban on bloggers Now, if only the Reds could sign someone like Edgar Renteria, Cincy fans would have EVERYTHING on their Christmas lists. Oh wait…


Reed Domer-Shank 1-7-2011


2 comments:

  1. Good to have you back, I am happy about Edgar he was on my wish list. Don't be to hard on yourself it is the off-season.

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  2. Thanks for the kind words and the read. I am not sure yet on Renteria; just wonder what he'll bring that O-cab couldn't (especially when factoring O-cab's known intangibles). Above all though, I trust in Walt. Go Redlegs.

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